Day 293 art meditation … December 13 …  
Advent calendar door day 13 … A quick, tired journal entry …

I’m back to the place of my one of my childhood roots, it feels different writing from my parents house. I definitely feel more closed up, protective, shy, because this was where expression wasn’t appreciated. This was a little bit why I moved 3,000 miles away … 

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I am 54-½ years old and for the first time I feel just completely at home here, too. It’s also amazing what 11 years of intense inner work will do. Sprinkle on top of that a few little boundaries … Also I KNOW now that I will do this All lines are beautiful work for the rest of my life, no one is taking that away from me. It’s not even necessary for my family and I to talk about it, because someday I just know they will tune in.

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I am so proud of myself. If anything I wish that I could have gotten to this inner place sooner … But there I go again being hard on myself.

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I’m grateful to be here during Advent in their ridiculously cozy, gemuetlich Advent house with Danish and German paper and straw crafts everywhere, a Moravian light hanging in the front porch and a freshly cut Christmas tree standing in the garage waiting to be decorated with real candles on December 22nd, just in time for Mom’s birthday on the 23rd. My twin’s little family and I will be the kids in town for this 82nd birthday and other than the fact that I wish I had just spent the money back in February to pay for G’s plane ticket to be here too, all things feel whole and like it is as it should be.

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With this art I’m playing with one of the Senga sculptures and using it as background texture. I really love it. Pairing this pink heart with the beautiful pink flowers of my surrounding. 

I’m grateful for all of this.

Xo Anne

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