Day 374 Art Meditation, March 8, 2024

One of my all time favorite movies is “The Color Purple”. I carry these fictional characters in my heart as a way to find healing, and what it looks like to stand up for yourself, and against all odds … to heal. 

Also there is a subplot of a minister’s daughter, ‘Shug’, the sinner, who reconciles with her father, and somehow I have it in my mind that I can complete this reconciliation with my own father once I finish my art-memoir. Sigh. The truth is we are the most reconciled we have ever been. I'm not sure at his old age that my words and way of experiencing the world matter anymore, although I know he wants to read it … 

My trauma from my maternal side is nothing compared to the characters in this movie, but I have normalized some variation of bully behavior my entire life, and after decades of all kinds of therapy, it still takes a lot of creativity, cooking, baking, swimming, walking, looking at the sky, gardening and sleep to ground my fried nervous system. My All-lines-are-beautiful writing and art journey keeps me afloat. Also, I now have the full acceptance of who I am from about 4 people, amazing progress. 

I finally watched the new version of “The Color Purple”, in spite of huge attachment to the 1st version of the movie, but the 2nd version had the same healing effect as the first one. Although I will say, how can you take out the “Miss Celie’s Blues” song, with singer/actress Meg Avery, and is there anything that compares to the Quincy Jones soundtrack??

The PBS commentator Jonathan Capehart made a reference to “The Color Purple” last night during Biden’s epic State of the Union speech, insinuating that this is a moment in time when America is taking her power back, the same way Sofia  and Miss Celie did, breaking a cycle of abuse. My favorite scenes in the movie are about all the strong women who are put down and their journey to rise up. I’ve needed role models.

I get goosebumps when Miss Celie speaks up with full rage, finally breaking the abuse-cycle with Mister, saying, “Until you make right by me, everything you even think about will fail.” What a perfect metaphor for Americans. This is what it looks like to own our own voice and to leave an abusive relationship that has been some of our voting decisions.

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And yet I know that this kind of self-awareness can’t be forced. I have empathy for those to stay, or vote, for abusive relationships too long. I stayed in an abusive relationship for 1-1 ⁄ 2 years too long, and a professional abusive relationship for 12 years, even though I knew I should have left after the 4th month.  

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Selling puzzles may not look like the most amazing thing to you, but to me, it’s a piece of me taking my power back. I believe in my Heart-art messages, because I’ve been around abusive subtle ego-messages my whole life and I want to change things, not just for me but for everyone. 

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Store link here.

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With gratitude to be here and now, Anne

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