I'm celebrating a few things ... being on the tail end of a two week flu/cold, god knows how many tissue boxes and how much liquid from my head ... Having completed 2 out of 4 years of Amended tax returns ... A ton of laundry, grocery shopping and just having two whole days at home to be domestic with three recipes to work on ... G and I often ponder how to get to that higher level of flow, to where we are actually diving into our deepest creative parts, that expansive mind stuff ... I know part of us for both of us is to get the chores and seemingly stupid lists out of the way ... And part of it is just being WELL ... The thing for me about not being "in flow" is how muted I feel, and being sick and having heavy chores to do are just things that mute. What a way to live ... My attempt to have SOME creative expression and connection this weekend was baking up these two recipes to work on care packages ... Also am loving Nigella's sense of humor about these shredded wheat cookies ... Her overall brand is pretty classy, especially her gorgeously designed "How to Be a Domestic Goddess" cook book. But these cookies, as G noted, are really just a white trash version of "a cookie": melted milk chocolate and butter over shredded wheat clusters. One more recipe to go, still musing how to make these packages AMUSING ... Add some Bay Area interesting veggies? In any case, this was my attempt to push past the Tired, mark the moment of getting some big chores done, Make SOMETHING that will be connection to my receivers, and be excited about how much more I can do when I'm 100% physically there. Here's to being very very patient.
The final red paper mobile is so beautiful ... Why wouldn't I create things like this all the time? They are so light, delicate and airy, just breathtaking. But the making of this one - maybe the 6th I've made in my life as gifts? - was kind of a internal patience fight for me ... As I sit here on day 6 of having the flu and an all consuming cold being miserable and gross it occurs to me that making paper mobiles and being sick are really really good spiritual lessons. Folding the tiniest pieces of papers and repeating it .... Sick, our bodies are forced slow down to minimal accomplishments a day ... breathing, sleeping, getting your body temp down, drinking liquids ... The pity parties the hissy fits that the flu body aches are back another day, and for me the most frustrating is that I can't really feel anything emotionally. I'm just sort of muted. So little room for connection in this muted state. It's good for me to look at this mobile and all the steps, the build from one piece to one leaf, to one star ... And in the process of working with tiny paper pieces like this, having patience to actually be in the smaller moments. And be okay with just that ... Just that Now ... And then the trust part, I know I'll create connection and beauty again, I know connection and beauty are still out there ... Just not today.