G is in the kitchen making a double recipe of lemon sorbet and double is important because it's a lot of lemons he is patient enough to zest ... And in this moment we are noticing our one year anniversary ... I say this also as we have now learned how to be annoyed with each other in the kitchen or other mis-rhythms in our days ... When I say sarcastically, happy one year anniversary and he says that's JUST what he was thinking, happy one year anniversary with light sarcasm, darker tones, all with his beautiful voice ... We have, on this one year anniversary, built a beautiful trust, through difficult external tests ....
We met last year and somehow I feel like I've traveled light years ... It had been the first time in my life when I worked with S on the art of setting intentions, I wrote out about 10 sentences of what I wanted in a life partner ... At some point my spiritual guide asked that I set a date to it ... When July didn't happen, she said, I don't know, you didn't say what year, so the Universe must be confused .... So I put an indent into my writings and said 2017, drenched with my own sarcasm of how I'm "too Bay-Area-woo-woo now" ....
And so I knew what I wanted in a relationship and let that dream wake up by stopping to write it out, and then doing the work to get it ... God, it was work to get here. I was thinking recently that really I didn't work on my career the last four years, I worked on my personal romantic life. The process it took to find G was almost a full time job ... The number of dates, dating, experiences, feeling it all out ... Me working with my emotions, and still the dealings of self image public and private and being that perfect female ... Believing that was the key, when the key was my own authenticity. Any moments when I have achieved conventional beauty and perfection, well, it covers so much up, and actually I just lost time ... Looking my best creates this amazing outer illusion and I accepted our societal definition of happiness (look good) ..... I think I was sick of it ... Stupid and pointless, but that's another post.
I remember those first weeks when I met G, it felt like some kind of Landing Spot emotionally, mentally, physically and I blurted out just a few weeks in "God, you were expensive", and I remember those moments when he and I knew exactly what I mean by that. I went to school to get that shiny job, but instead I got amazing boyfriend. Before conventional thought would allow us to know these things, I knew. He knew. My first contact to him was a message - I know I still have it in my journal - reaching out to a him, this man, on OKCupid telling him that I'm maxed out from a month of bad dating and I have a freelance deadline, and that I loved his profile essay so much that I was printing it out for my journal and to please not go away, I'll be back ... So this was me not exactly adhering to smooth kind of rules that dating behavior required, which is maybe why I never attempted it much beofore ... Sigh. Instead of me going to bed at 10pm, we texted for two hours that night ... And the seven nights after that, going into 2 hour phone calls, etc.
Here's the amazing part. A few times I went back and re read my Dream Life Partner Intentions and I noticed these two elements ... a) I got soooooo much more in "life partner" from the Universe ('God', if it sits better) than I could have written down. I got the scope right, and in my heart of hearts all the years before, I was already writing the first parts of that later-to-be-List ... b) I told G that he was late. I had written these intentions and I was specific to say July 2017 and in August I realized and explained all this to him saying, you were late! I went back to look at my art-desk-calendar (lovely tactile and visual experience) and I realized, no, he wasn't late: I met him July 30, 2017 at 10pm.
Just, in, time.
When that hit my heart, I just shook my head and couldn't stop smiling - still, now, really ... because wow, the universe has a deep sense of humor.
I could write more about G. A love letter. A love novel? Just more. Much more. But for now, this is me knowing that with him, I got "it" right. And with this 'grid', I go forth into the world setting other Dream Intentions ...
Ending this with a beautiful quote from the "Anne with an E" (new script!):
"Now I remember that the world was wide. And that a very field of hopes and fears of sensations and excitements awaited those who have the courage to go forth .... into its expanse ... To seek real knowledge of life, amidst its perils."