Thank you K for this note about one of your favorite quotes, by astrologist/poet, Mark Borax::
“Freedom comes as you live each moment as the conscious, awake, hopeful, half blind/half divine, quirky, magically alive, flawed, perfect, transformative, erotic being that you are. That’s what we long for - not the freedom of escape, but the freedom of arrival.”
On the eve before my flight to the other coast to visit as my parents, siblings, spouses, their children, aunt, uncle, and my pack of adorable friends, even my Oakland-sister and her partner (who I will see more on this vacation than my West Coast existence!), I am ridiculously grateful for this quote, and the perspective ... Just one big Yes. I am aware that I am this place I come from is a little bit the theory that IF you find yourself a man, it's all you need to achieve ... I want to be careful here, because the power of our minds is incredible. So now, to be clear, if I think / believe that PA is the land where Christian-oriented people will be happy for me that I found a man, then that's the conversation / theme / the words that will happen. It would be SUCH an easy conversation to step back into this world with:: YUP:: G is amazing and my life is amazing because of G. Yup G is funny as shit, he has done his spiritual homework, he digs deep and is one of the most insightful, observant and intelligent people I know ... He pierces any Truth like I've never seen ... And he's one of the most creative people I know. Yes I could easily spend the entire vacation talking about him, my friends are certainly tired enough of the G-this, G-that, I'm SURE.
It's not just not true, that my sense of freedom is because I am with him. Don't get me wrong, I adore and love G and my life would be entirely different without him, or the ways he challenges me, makes me grow.
But the truth is that my journey has been about finding me, not him. The truth is that this has been about loving me, not him. My flaws, my imperfections, my emotions, ALL of them ... There were 3-1/2 years before I met G when it was just me, and most that time I was disappointed that it was just me ...
The thing about Freedom, is that along with learning / practicing resiliency of spirit, freedom has nothing to do with being single, or careers, or income, or how we look, or weight, or age, or how productive we are, or what we say - as long as it's with integrity, positivity, authenticity and heart ... Freedom is ALL interior ... And the best part is that all of us DO have the capacity of practicing this and getting there ... One tiny 2 minute baby step at a time ...
It's weird ... It's the closest I felt to humankind ... ever ... even after a day of moderate drama ... And that's the resilience part of this. That even with flaws of who we are, how we behave ... There is still always magic ... And then you require less. And that's the freedom part ... Pretty much anything can happen to me now, and it will be .... wonderful.