I decided not very lightly to post the 9 essays - 8 essays and 1 draft from late 2013 - written for the English class I was required to take for a degree in web design, even though I had AP Lit classes in High School and passed out of the 101 English course at Goshen College where I received my BA. When I had to take English writing again, it felt all wrong. The plan was to learn everything I could on web design, not waste time on college basics.
Also, now, suddenly, in the theme of writing, a memory of Mr Gray's Writing Composition class in High School, my absolute favorite thing, other than the 2 art classes I took in my senior year. Being asked to write about ANYTHING the first 10 minutes of every class, dump it all into a little blank lined composition book, years before I discovered The Artist's Way, was utter heaven. The class writing assignments were bliss - (a film review is all I can remember now), and so was getting deep respect from my teacher about my writing skills. Odd, now, so many years later to have almost completely forgotten these weeks of my life.
Thinking back though, I LOVE that I decided to write about this huge decision I was making during a class that I deemed useless and a waste of my time and money. So I write it all out. I haven't completely been able to re read these essays because I remember it was a very painful time for me, when my only companion to think things through were these essays. I like this now, but I didn't then. I love that I killed two birds with one - or 9 - stone(s). The essays filled a need, for me to bang out the intellectual arguments, try to reason this huge decision through, to start my life completely over again ... I wrote, then, into the dark ... But I stayed connected to my intuition and heart. I see now, though, that I was desperately trying to solve things with my Thinking Head, not my Body/Heart - or "body knowledge" , which I knew already. In the essays part of me was operating in that highly academic head space, uptight, reserved, controlling, in charge ... There's a time and a place for all these things, but I still haven't found out when and where.
Years later (now) I learned about energy and transformation and manifesting and being intentional with words, and done all the homework ... I've learned how to listen to myself physically and emotionally (energy) on a whole new level (transformation) and learned how to act only from that space (manifestation). What we think is what we get, what we speak is what we get, what we believe ... is what we get ... Just how real are we willing to be with ourselves, know ourselves. All the mental discipline of choosing Positivity, This Moment, and Gratitude, to flip everything ... and as I re read some of the paragraphs I'm pretty amazed with my words back then ... because it's actually proof, that I manifested this whole entire thing ...