Day #53 …. I had really interesting lessons - “awarenesses” - today about Authenticity and Abundance. (I think about how Aris would make the comment, Sure, why not two big ones in one tiny day.') The flip side of Abundance is poverty and poverty can certainly be about money but that’s not the part that interests me. I feel like in many ways I am under cover like Gloria Steinem was when she wrote about Playboy Magazine in the 70’s, to write about that world through the her eyes … Except that she got paid to go under cover and write about her observations. And ironically unpaid, I write about abundance … What I am learning is the definition of what Abundance is not. Living extremely small, is not abundance. I watch now how power is about winning the moment only, through a series of very small acts … And choosing to repeat them.
What Abundance is, then rather than listing what it is not: having integrity in everything you do, whether it’s taking out the trash, it’s how you talk to people … It’s being consistent … It’s not about perfection, but it is about always giving your best and making sure that the people around you know that your intentions are to give your best, and then communicating when something less than best happens. Abundance is about TRUST, and the building of that …. Abundance is about team flow ... Abundance is also about feminism because …. feminism is about Voice! Abundance is about living from your heart outward ….S. has always said to me that what is inside you gets reflected into your outside world, which makes all of this that much more interesting. Small actions, low-heart activity inside = lack of abundance outside. Repeat.
What I loved and adored about today was a lesson of how Authenticity works. I am quite passionate and will tell you exactly what is going on, and what I think. When I once dated a Marrine who was fearful and hater of vulnerability, he told me that the most interesting thing about me was that my speech and words pierced through his heart with truth like a weapon that Marine guys use - can’t remember what it's called … It’s something about precision - you aim that weapon to someone’s heart and instantly kill them … That is what he said about my observation skills; the metaphor was about Truth. It was a fabulous compliment because I felt affirmed and seen. Not of course that he was interested in any way in my ability to see or to pierce into truth, or engage with that.
I went through my day with the full support of G, and his wonderful ability to fine-tune how I could approach things, giving me expansive options. (And who incidentally is the most amazing Engager of Truths and Vulnerability I have ever met! So glad I didn’t settle for less, romantically.) Of course Zen Buddhism is a perfect solution for everything: just let it go, to protect myself, because for me to correct “everything” is neither my financial reward or worthy of my focus. And I will let things go. But first, I’m going to vent, and I did. I vented to appropriate people and got full support. I was authentic. No time really to question whether I was doing anything right … I don’t know about Gloria when she was living that year at Playboy Magazine, but living out of alignment with who you are fucking sucks.
Authenticity: The end of my day brought beautiful, if temporary, results, based on ME being ME. Passionate and angry and flawed and verbal and standing up for truth and justice in the ways that affect my world. I didn’t try to solve it by some pre-established formatted diplomatic small way. I just went for it, knowing that truth was both in me and on my side.
Authenticity wins, I tell you, every. single. time. Unleashed authenticity.
The next point is less magnificent, but still worthy: good people are hard to find. Good teams are hard to construct. I don't know how leaders do it, but I have a new awareness of The Importance of it. When I think about finding a perfect-for-me-partner, and then square that: a team. A compatible team. I used to believe that all humans were created equal but I no longer believe that. I think that’s the disappointing realization I’m having. That some people just Are Less. If there is a high road to be taken, they take the low road, again and again and again, until the end of their lives. That’s a part of Abundance too, or (their) lack of it. You may tell me “everyone is on a journey” but I just think people can do better. Maybe this is my deep rooted believe that all people can Rise. It’s not about education, or age, or status, or privilege. It’s about Heart and that empowers EVERYTHING.
I think for me the slab of snobbery that I have landed on is for people who choose abundance in each step of life: do the right thing, embolden someone, empower someone, be kind, try your hardest, be honest, believe in the people around you, create something, love someone, engage, get messy, change your behavior for someone / for yourself. Just like good design work.
It’s funny too because I want to say that somehow it’s the older people who “get it”, but I’ve met 65 year olds who are turning 15 with negativity. And I’ve met 18 year olds - albeit only 1 - who is in spirit turning 70. As in, Wise Woman. And I’ve met a young 17 year old boy who is intelligently autistic and he lives with more integrity than 50 other people I’ve meet in the same room. So it’s not about IQ either.
It’s about soul, it’s always about soul, and we ALL have them …
My final note lands on the design of the thing. Design work always has options. A good designer can give options that are each real and viable… We all have choices to make, just like design. But we have to put in the time. You have to WONDER why is a thing ugly, what can I do about it.
And with that I’m posting just the lovely things that came out of this purple cabbage juice I made. It’s how design work gets better or different and grows …
I DO have faith in humanity over all … But I’m much more clear on who and what I want to put my focus on: beauty, truth, honesty, integrity, hard work, patience, kindness, and intelligent thoughtful choosing ….