Day #38 … Set 3 of 3 Sketches for icons, with a video … One of the things that comes over me as I look at this last set of sketches is how close I feel with my family of origin … For however differently we live our lives now, we have always sought for meaning and meaningfulness. Questions of ethics, a good philosophical quest, certainly good writing and good sermon writing were important … I sometimes miss the cohesiveness that our family experienced until I (and my twin) left home, that cozy perfect and imperfect Hunsicker household. I try to recreate it with G and make a wide of a circle friendship as my parents always had, but I’m much to much of an introvert (funnily, Dad is too ....) G may correct me in my thinking - be careful what you say/think, that’s what you’ll get - but I have always believed that people in general are attracted to a Pastor and Pastor’s Wife … I got the sense that people look to a Pastor couple for answers, that somehow the “perfect exterior glow” of who we were as a family - which is different from who we we really were - would rub off onto them. But then it could also have been because my parents are amazing humans. I never completely understood the easy adoration we got, I never felt I deserved it because people didn’t really know who I was. Maybe that is what skewed my own journey towards self acceptance, at some point I had to work for it, not just get it because I was the oldest daughter of RH and HS. But anyway, the Hunsicker we core was such a lovely family-womb. Not perfect or all peaceful, and yes there are huge stretch marks from the various kinds of birthing, but a place of emotional refuge from the world, and a place of complete trust, which I still think is the single most important thing in any relationship (thank you Mom for that conversation.) So I look at these art concepts now and I think of them, my lovely serious family. In fact maybe I’ll recruit some of them for user feedback.
I realize too, that half the fun for these icons will be the writing. I look at my sketch about Michelle and Melania and I think I may use the word “Judgmental” because that’s absolutely something I learned in my family. That could be an entire book by itself. “Book of Judgments, Opposite Icons”: “German Christmas Tree / American Christmas Tree”. “Furniture, Light wood / dark wood”. “(Beautiful) German erzgebirge ornaments / tacky American color ornaments”. It’s a German spoon so it’s better. And then there is politics. Although there my parents went deep into their faith and never created division. Sure they voted, and sure Dad probably should have run for Senate as a socialist liberal, but they never preached or spoke of a separation in humanity. And I think what I learned from them most of all was that even if there was judgment, we were intuitively taught that judgment and divide doesn’t hold up against love. And what love is, the action thing, is hard choices. Like the time my mother after decades lived with horrible neighbors - part of a drug ring even - and she decides to help the lead guy plant tulips. (“Mom, you did WHAT with Harry?”) So I think my inspiration comes from my parents and siblings. We are separated in so many ways right now, but deep down, there are so many amazing values. That ability to find universal truths, not the things that keep us apart. That’s what I want to try to do with this art.